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Friends!
How many of us have them?
Friends!
Ones we can depend on
Friends!
How many of us have them?
Friends!
Before we go any further, lets be
Friends!
Whodini made this popular song back in 1984 and depending on how you say the word “friends” someone just may finish up with “how many of us have them?”
So when I decided to write this post, this was the first song that came to mind. Some of us have a lot of friends and others just a few. As for me, I have very few friends (by choice). Some people weigh the fact that you have a lot or a few based on what type of person they think you are. But to state the obvious, it’s so much more to have a quality set of friends than to have a whole bunch of people in your lives polluting it.
People have friends for different reasons, some because they love the camaraderie or consider their friends, “family” and others because they want a sense of belonging. To some level we all “need” to have friends whether it be the friend that is another mom at your child(ren)’s preschool or someone that you met at work or someone that you’ve known forever. It’s just super important to know how to treat them and how to navigate your 1:1 relationship with them.
However, all friends should NOT be treated equally and this isn’t solely based on the how long you’ve known someone but more about the fiber of their being. What type of person they are and how they carry themselves. Do they talk about other people with you? Do they motivate you? Do they listen to you? Are they genuinely into you and vice versa? There are many factors on weighing your friendships that I simply cant add up in this post, but the idea is to be cautious about who your friends are and if they should just be kept as “associates” instead.
In today’s world we have things like Facebook and Instagram and so we are constantly in contact with people we wouldn’t normally be in contact with such as grade, middle and high school friends. Some that you didn’t really speak to much when you were there but since everyone is on this FB platform and you know of each other, than it just seems appropriate. They may even throw you a like or a heart or an “LOL” every once in a while and that’s fine.
I’m just here to serve this Public Announcement to inform you on the importance of knowing what kind of friends you have. Now none of these friends are bad friends, it’s just good to know how to categorize them so you don’t set high expectations or lower your standards for the certain people in your life.
I’m a huge Bishop TD Jakes fan and I recently finished his latest book called “Destiny”. Destiny is about improving yourself and working on your dreams and aspirations. He discusses discipline, lifestyle, motivation, sacrifices and the company you keep. As I read the friendship portion of the book, things just made so much sense that I needed to pay the enlightenment forward, so that you will be able to compartmentalize your life in a similar way you see fit.
Bishop Jakes says that there are 3 types of friends (or family members) that are in your life and we need to know how to handle our lives around them. I’ve included some illustration for you and examples of what these 3 types of friends may look like. No Shade
So here they are:
1. CONFIDANTS- You have very few of them – these are people who welcome you unconditionally. They are into you whether you are up or down, right or wrong, they are in it for the long haul. You can share anything with them. Having a good confidant is one of the keys that unlock the Kingdom.
These are people who you can share your deepest and darkest inner thoughts with, who won’t judge you but will feed you instead of draining you.
Have you ever had relationships where the person was emotionally immature and consistently draining you? It’s okay to help others but you must have someone who feeds you so you can feed someone else. They will confront you; they’ll get in your business and get in your face and tell you when you are wrong BUT will also come back and be by your side no matter what. They will never leave.
2. CONSTITUENTS – They are not into you but are into what you are FOR. They are for what you are for. As long as you are for what they are for they will be with you but never think they are for you. If they meet someone else that will meet their agenda they will hook up with them and leave you. Don’t mistake a constituent for a confidant. By the time you fall in love or are connected with them in a relationship, they will hook up with someone else and break your heart, leaving you wondering, “I thought our relationship was deeper than that.”
3. COMRADES – These are not for you nor are they for what you are for. They are just against what you are against. They are strange bedfellows. They are the enemy of your enemy who will team up with you to help you fight a greater enemy. They will only be with you until the victory is accomplished.
They are like scaffolding that is there until the building is built but is later removed because the building is built. Don’t be upset when they leave. They were not supposed to be there anyway. Don’t tell your dream to your constituents they will try to fulfill the dream without you. Don’t tell your dream to your comrades because they will not support you because they are not for you in the first place.
This was some serious food for thought and I hope it gave you a different perspective on friends and life itself. I thank you for stopping by and hope that you can share this post with whomever you see fit, but know that it’s not done in “shade” but is so important to know how to choose carefully on who you let in you life. Hope this was a great lesson to you as it was for me.
I’ll leave you with this and hope you have a great weekend!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRn2VQWNkgA
Thanks for stopping by!